


What We Leave Behind

by IdShipThis



Series: Thankful for the Scars [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Undeath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-05-18 16:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdShipThis/pseuds/IdShipThis
Summary: Continuation of Small Comforts.





	1. Chapter One

It’s quiet upstairs. It’s always quiet upstairs, but today the silence is deafening. Steve is so engrossed in his own thoughts that he doesn’t hear Tony say his name from the door. By the time he looks up, Tony almost looks exasperated with him.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says quietly. “I was thinking.”

Tony gives him a soft smile and leans against the door jam. “I could tell. What’s that?”

He gestures to the object in Steve’s hands. Two objects: Natasha’s ballet shoes. Steve holds them up before gently setting them down on the bed next to him and smoothing an invisible wrinkle in the pristine white bedspread. The bed is impeccably made because he and Natasha made it together the day before. The first time Natasha ever stayed over at his place, she’d made his bed the next morning. It was the first time he’d ever seen someone make it as neatly as he did. He might have fallen in love with her that day.

It doesn’t matter, though.

“Did you know she danced?” Steve asks as Tony steps into the room with his hands clasped somberly behind his back. 

“I read her file,” he answers, and it isn’t cold, just a fact. “About the Red Room.”

“She was good. Really good.” The words sting as he says them. _Was,_ past tense. Natasha is gone.

“Cap…”

“How is everyone? Did they rest? Eat?” Steve interrupts whatever Tony was going to say. He’s now standing near the end of the bed where Steve is sitting, the closest they’ve been in a while.

“Everyone’s fine,” Tony says.

Steve runs a hand through his hair and nods. He knows the team is self-sufficient, but they’ve taken a big hit. Clint and Bruce holed themselves away and Steve was finding it hard to look either of them in the eye. Not that either of them had any claim on Natasha. Not that he did either. She wasn’t something to have claim over, anyway. Not to him at least. He also wasn’t sure how they’d feel about the two of them being involved.

“How are you?”

“Me?” Steve tries to act like he’s fine, but somehow he knows Tony won’t believe him. It doesn’t matter, though, because Tony answers himself before Steve can even come up with a lie.

“You loved her.”

Tony’s words cut through him so deeply it nearly takes his breath away. He stares at his hands for a long moment. He wants to say something like “We all did.” or “Didn’t you?” but he knows saying anything besides the truth would only disrespect Natasha’s memory.

“All this time,” Steve says in almost a whisper, “all this time and I never told her.”

Tony rests his hand gently on Steve’s shoulder and Steve is glad for the comfort. For so long Natasha was his comfort and he was hers. And now she’s gone. It feels good to finally say it, but the guilt and sadness threaten to overtake the relief.

“I think she knew.”

Steve shrugs and then looks up at Tony. “How did you…?”

“Okay,” Tony sighs and sits next to him on the bed, leaving a little space between them. “Don’t make this weird, but…I saw you guys.”

Steve is immediately on high alert. Though Tony has only been back with them for a little while, there is always the possibility of the cameras and the thought that Tony _saw them_ embarrasses and even angers him on so many levels.

“Whoa. Wait. I mean. Okay, wow.” Tony notices the tension and complete change in Steve, so he starts over. “After everything, you know, space and all that, I disconnected myself from everything. All security cameras and whatnot. If there’s any footage you don’t want me to see, chances are I didn’t see it, okay?”

Steve nearly melts in relief and gestures for Tony to go on.

“I’m really curious about the other footage, now…” Tony trails off at Steve’s glare. “It was one of the garages. The system must’ve glitched because I got a notification from the motion detector and, well, there you were.”

Tony smiles and Steve knows exactly what he’s talking about.

_“Steve, it’s not the 1940s, brain damage can kill you. Your super serum body can’t fix that. Put on the damn helmet.” Natasha’s voice echoed in the garage and he stared at her over the motorcycle._

_“No.”_

_She huffed. “It’s just a helmet. You wear one with your uniform!”_

_“I don’t wear a uniform anymore.”_

_“Don’t be a smartass.”_

_“You don’t wear helmets,” he returned._

_“I do now,” she told him with a glare._

_Steve stood up straight and crossed his arms over his broad chest. Natasha leveled a gaze at him and held out the helmet once more. He took it, then set it on the bike seat. Before she could come up with a sassy retort he’d practically vaulted over the bike and wrapped an arm around her waist. She laughed and squirmed against him, but he was too strong. He dug his fingers into her ribs and tickled her until she was laughing and gasping for breath, then he kissed her until he was the one out of breath. His arms were tight around her, their bodies pressed together._

_“Why is it so important to you?” He’d asked as he brushed her hair from her face._

_She’d shrugged and reached up to touch his cheek._

_“I like your stupid face. I’d hate for it to get messed up,” she’d told him._

_He had just laughed, kissed her, and put the helmet on. Then they’d climbed onto his bike with Natasha driving and had ridden until the sun went down._

“You put a helmet on for her, it must’ve been love.”

Steve gives him a rueful smile before standing up and smoothing the bed where he’d been sitting. Tony follows suit and they leave the room, closing the door behind them.

“Another empty room,” Steve murmurs, his hand falling form the doorknob.

Tony looks around the hall at the other doors: Wanda’s, Sam’s, Vision’s. Everything is so terrible. They are silent as they make their way downstairs. It’s time to fix things.

“I didn’t tell anyone. If you were wondering,” Tony says, stopping before they are in earshot of anyone.

Steve had been wondering but was also past the point of worrying if people knew anymore.

“Thanks,” he replies. “It doesn’t matter, though. I can’t feel guilty for being in love with her. Even if it didn’t start like that.”

“How _did_ it start?” Tony’s voice is nonchalant, but his eyes are wide with questions.

Steve smirks a little. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Tony frowns and shakes his head. “No, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s really no one else’s business but yours.”

“Tony…”

“No, I just- I’m sorry. I’m sorry she’s gone.”

They are their way to the lab when Clint comes out of nowhere. He catches Steve off guard and manages to push him into the wall. Tony stumbles next to him.

“Barton, have you lost your mind?” Tony says after he rights himself.

Clint isn’t paying attention to him, though. He’s got one hand on Steve’s shoulder and the other is pressing a leather-bound book into his chest.

“What the hell is this?” Clint hisses, shoving the book harder into Steve.

“Get your hands off me, Clint,” Steve says quietly. He slowly reaches up, knowing exactly how deadly Clint can be, and peels Clint’s hand from his shoulder.

“You better start talking, Rogers,” Clint takes a step back and Tony takes a step forward and tries to stand in front of Steve.

“Let’s just calm down for a minute, okay?”

“How long has this been going on?” Clint ignores Tony, all of his anger directed at Steve.

“Barton,” Steve says his name and Clint takes a step forward.

Tony puts a hand on Clint’s chest, holding him back.

“This isn’t really any of your business Tony,” Clint says through his teeth.

“Actually, it kind of is my business, because this team is my business, and we’re actually in the middle of some serious business. Can’t your pissing contest wait until we save the world?”

Clint glares between them and shoves the book into Tony’s hands. Tony looks at Steve, who shrugs. It’s his sketchbook of Natasha. All innocent shots, things he’s seen in the past five, or even more, years. She must have left it in the desk. He never did get to do the nude one. The thought makes him want to laugh and cry at the same time.

Tony looks at the book, then at Steve with sad eyes. “So? Pictures of Romanoff. That’s a crime?” He closes the book and hands it to Steve.

“Seriously?” Clint is exasperated. Steve understands why he’s upset. He and Natasha were close. They were partners for a long time. Natasha kept his secrets and he probably expected that he would do the same for her.

“You haven’t been around for almost seven years, Clint.” Steve’s voice is quiet but not condescending. He knows that Clint is hurting just as much as he is, maybe more. “She was my partner…in everything. In every way. I loved her.”  

Clint’s shoulders sag a little and his breathing hitches. Tony rests a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers and runs a hand through his hair. “I just…I don’t know what to do.”

“I know,” Steve tells him. “I feel like I don’t know how to do anything without her anymore.”

“If she were here, she’d kick both of your asses,” Rocket’s voice come from between them and they both look down with matching frowns. “Let’s get to work, ya crybabies.”

“You heard the man,” Steve says stepping away from Clint and Tony. “Let’s get to work.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I only saw Endgame once in theaters and I'm not good at all the science-y stuff? Also, I'm not calling this a "fix it". I just wanted to see them together. XOXO

Everything is blurry. That’s the only way Steve can describe it without having to think too much about it. They are back. Everyone they lost from the snap has come back. They’ve won.

But they’ve lost.

Natasha and Tony are gone and, while there is joy that everyone else is safe, the pain of losing them won’t be ignored. It isn’t because they are valuable to the team, because they are. It’s because they are invaluable as people. The two of them are loved and respected and…gone. They

Pepper, not surprisingly, is the rock of the team right now. She’s opened all Stark Tower’s residential area to the returned for temporary or permanent residence. The Avengers’ facility is a pile of ash and rubble. The place is unrecognizable and almost everything worth anything is gone. They had as team go in to salvage any belongings they could, but the find was scarce.

There was an old Russian storybook found that belonged to Natasha. Steve never knew her to be sentimental about things from her past and the unexpected book in his hands makes his eyes sting. He flips through the pages absently until the book falls open in his hands and his breath leaves his lungs.

It’s a picture. Just a picture, but it’s a moment he remembers well, a night he can’t forget. It was a night for celebration and the whole team was there drinking, having fun, trying to lift Thor’s hammer. Now he can’t remember who took the picture, just that it’s there in his hands. The days that followed that photo had been a nightmare for all of them, but the smiling group was a reminder of all the good they had done together. In the picture Natasha was tucked up against his side with a small, mischievous smile on her face.

God, he missed her.

“Hey, Cap?” Sam’s voice pulls him back to the present and he closes the book quickly, leaving the picture in between the pages. “We’re just about ready.”

Steve nods and looks around the private suite that he claimed as his room. It’s updated with the latest Stark technology, has its own bathroom, and a great view of the city. The room- the tower- has everything they need, but it still feels so empty without Tony or Natasha.

“Was that hers?” Sam steps into the room and Steve hands him the book.

“She, um, she didn’t have a lot of personal belongings. I was kind of surprised they found this.”

“Yeah, I know. She was always stealing my shirts and sweaters,” Sam mutters, but he’s smiling. He and Natasha were on the run together for years. They’d grown close in the short time they’d known each other, and it happened so fast. It hurt that he didn’t get to say goodbye.

“Mine too,” Steve gives a sad laugh and an even sadder smile.

“You gonna tell me what happened between the two of you?” Sam gives him the book back and Steve places it gently in a dresser drawer. He puts his hands on his hips and stares at the floor. “Five years is a long time, Steve.”

Steve sighs and meets Sam’s eyes. “I was going to say, ‘it’s complicated’, but it really isn’t. I loved her. _Love_ her.”

“I’m going to go ahead and assume she felt the same way.”

“God, I hope so,” he whispers as he blinks back tears. “Sorry.”

Sam reaches out and grasps Steve’s shoulder tightly. He knows there are no words to make his friend feel better and he also doesn’t know enough about what happened to share any wisdom. All Sam knows is to offer comfort, because it’s what he would want someone to do for him.

Before grabbing his jacket, Steve pats Sam’s hand. He nods toward the door, steeling himself for what he’s about to do.

“I’m ready.”

Sam nods, and they’re gone.

It’s simple, really. Return the stones.

He’s going alone this time, however, even though Sam and Bucky both volunteered. While Steve knows he can trust them, it’s something he needs to do by himself.

He holds the case tightly as Bruce gives directions and counts down. His palms are sweaty and his heart beats a mile a minute, but other than that…he’s ready. And then he’s gone, flying through space and time with nothing but a briefcase full of stones and his grief.

He returns the Power Stone to Morag quickly, barely giving himself enough time to marvel at the ruins there. In Asgard he catches a glimpse of Thor, so different than he had been before everything with Thanos. The Ancient One says nothing when he returns the Time Stone and he has a good laugh at himself when he gets to 2012. He saves the Tesseract because he doesn’t know how he’ll react seeing Peggy again. She’s older, obviously, but still so strong and beautiful. He wishes he could talk to her, just totell her a little of what’s to come, but he doesn’t. Instead he prepares for the last jump: to the one place he’s afraid of going.

Vormir is a desolate place and Steve’s depression only increases once he arrives there. It’s hard knowing that this is the place where she died, harder knowing that she made the choice herself. He feels guilty for being angry with her because he knows exactly what her reasoning was. Steve knows how much she cared for Clint and his family. She knew they would win and she didn’t want the Bartons to come back and not have Clint.   

Clint didn’t say much about this place and Steve doesn’t blame him as he makes his way up to the cliff. All he can think about is Natasha making this journey and how she must have known what needed to happen, how they _should have known_ what was going to happen. God, they were so stupid to have sent the two of them together. Who else would they have sent? Would he have been as brave as Natasha if it came down to it?

A chill runs through him when he reaches the top and then a voice, _the voice_ , one he never thought he’d have to hear again comes from behind him.

“Steven, son of Sarah.”

Steve closes his eyes and swallows hard. Then he turns.

xXx

“Steve?”

He hears his name again, but it sounds far away. Like a dream. Steve opens his eyes and is surprised to find himself in a shallow pool of water. He stands, warily, unsure of how he got there or what happened after he gave the stone back.

“Rogers?”

The voice is behind him, clearer than before. Steve turns and his heart nearly stops because _she’s right there_.

“Natasha?” He whispers hoarsely.

He stumbles toward her, but she holds out her hands like she’s afraid and he freezes mid-stride. His hands are still braced in front of him like he was going in for a hug. Hell, maybe he was.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks.

“What the hell happened? Why are we here?” She takes a step back and _God_ , he just wants to grab her and hold her. He wants to tell her how beautiful and perfect she is and that he loves her. Natasha is scared, though, and he doesn’t blame her. The last thing she probably remembers is falling off a cliff.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Are you real?” Her voice is a whisper and there are tears in her eyes. It makes his own eyes sting. “When are you from?”

He notices she says _when_ , so he tells her, “2023. It’s over, Natasha. Come home.”

Natasha looks around, shaking her head and holding herself tightly. Steve holds out his hand tentatively and she watches him for a long moment, trying to decide what to do.

“Tasha, please,” he says quietly and it seems to convince her.

She takes his hand cautiously and, before she can pull away, he yanks her against his chest. She pushes away, but his holds tight with one arm and activates his jump with the other.

They’re on the platform before she can protest again, but once they land she pushes herself away again and glares at him. Steve sets his hands on his hips and watches Natasha run her hands through her hair and look around the platform. She meets eyes with Bruce, Sam, and then Bucky before turning back to Steve, confused and astonished. Natasha puts her face in her hands and Steve watches as her shoulders start to shake with sobs. It takes him no time to cross the platform and pull her close, his lips press to her hair, and he whispers her name. He nods to the others, who quietly leave them alone, and holds her until her sobs quiet and her breathing evens out.

“They’re back,” Natasha whispers to Steve’s shoulder and he pulls back to look at her.

“Yeah.” He tries to smile. His hands go to her face, thumbs brushing over her cheeks just appreciating that she’s back in his arms. “So are you.”


	3. Chapter Three

“Nat? You okay?” Steve’s voice is quiet at the door to his bedroom at Stark Tower.

Natasha took the demolished facility better than he thought she would and, when they reached the hallway where the rooms were located, she simply glanced at Steve who nodded to his room.

“Will you close the door?” She’d asked quietly. He’d smiled sadly at Sam and done as she’d asked.

The door was only closed long enough for Natasha to shower and then sit on the bed wrapped in a towel. Steve, in fresh clothes, looked around the room helplessly. Helpless was one of the major emotions he’d felt since they landed back on the platform. He’d gently kissed her head and left the room, seeking Wanda to help Natasha with clothes. When he came back, he found them crying and laughing together in the middle of his bed.

Now, he leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms over his chest.

Natasha looks up from her spot in the middle of the big bed. She’s got a map and two tablets around her, not to mention a pencil stuck in her hair, two phones, and a cat that Peter found at the bodega around the corner. Happy tried to protest about the cat, but no one is really in the mood to argue with Natasha right now.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I just wanted to try to get some work done while everyone was…”

“Being social, having conversations, catching up?” He sits down on the bed and scratches the cat behind its ears. It flops over and offers its belly to him and he smiles.

She doesn’t meet his eyes, just shrugs, but he doesn’t really blame her. So many things have happened since she’s been back, and even before that. They are all still reeling from the loss of Tony, but Natasha’s grief is the freshest. She still has so many things she wanted to say to him. She isn’t ready to see Pepper yet, even though she’s been in and out of the tower since Natasha had been back. Natasha has done a find job of avoiding almost everyone.

“Is Peter still here?” She asks, but Steve shakes his head.

“Happy took him home a while ago. I told him not to forget his cat.”

“My cat,” Natasha says without looking at him.

He sighs.

“Does everyone have a place to sleep or go?” Natasha changes the subject and Steve nods.

“Everyone is fine. They’re all settled in,” he says softly as he moves some of the stuff from the bed to the dresser and sits down next to her. “Hey, look at me.”

She does and it makes his heart ache to see such sadness in her eyes. He cautiously rests a hand on her knee, not sure what she needs from him. He feels so unsure since he’s gotten her back and nothing feels right. They’ve been sharing the room, a bed, but they’ve hardly been physical.

“Tasha…”

At his quiet plea, she crumples into him. Her arms go around him, and her face is buried in his neck, hot tears and warm breath on his skin. She holds him tightly and he winces, still a little banged up and bruised.

“I’m sorry.” She pulls back, but he wraps an arm around her waist and holds her close. Natasha touches his cheek, the few days old beard, the healing cuts. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“What?” He pulls back to look at her. “You have nothing to apologize for. You were-” his mouth gets stuck on the word _dead_ because she’s clearly _not_ …only she was. “Is that what all this is?” He gestures to the work she’s been trying to do, and she nods sheepishly.

Steve gently takes her face in his hands. He kisses her softly, one of the first signs of affection they’ve shared in days. To his relief, she kisses him back with her hands gently in his hair and her body pressed close to his. He pulls away and rests his forehead against hers.

“You’ve done enough, Romanoff.”

She tries to shake her head, but he kisses her again. His hands are in her hair and on her face, holding her to him. He can feel her tears on his cheeks but all he wants to do is let her know how much she is _loved_.

“You’ve done enough,” Steve says again. The cat, as if to prove a point, curls up on the map that was spread out next to them. “See? Even Peter’s cat agrees.”

“My cat.”

He smiles and brushes her hair from her face. “You and Tony made the choice. You did what you thought was going to be best for everyone.”

Natasha closes her eyes and leans into his hand, the memory still fresh in her mind. She hadn’t wanted Clint’s family to come back and he not be there. She loves Laura and the kids as much as she loves Clint and couldn’t bear the kind of pain they’d feel if he were gone and she was left. 

 “You didn’t think about what it would be like for us without you, though,” he says softly, and she opens her eyes to find him staring at her with a hint of anger. He’s usually so collected, but she knows him well enough to know that he’s upset.

“Did you miss me?” She tries to say it with a smirk but her voice breaks and her lip trembles. The anger in his eyes disappears and the damned cat curls up in her lap as if it’s going to protect her from the big, bad, super soldier that made her cry.

“More than I could ever put into words.”

“Steve…”

“After…after we got the stones back, but not you…Tony came to me. He said he saw us on camera once.”

The only acknowledgement of embarrassment is the slight tinge of red to her cheeks. She raises an eyebrow, hoping that whatever Stark saw they at least had their clothes on.  

“We were in the garage. It was a fluke in the security system, or something.”

She smiles and gives a little relieved laugh because she knows what he’s talking about. They hardly ever went into the garage, but the last time they did she’d been so…happy.

“He said he could tell that I loved you from some two-minute exchange on the video feed,” Steve says, his eyes on the cat instead of her. “So. How long have you known?”

“Hm,” she hums and pulls his chin up, so he’s looking at her. He raises an eyebrow at her. “Probably since about 2014.”

Steve laughs and pushes her hand away, but she puts her hand on the back of his neck and pulls him close. He rests his forehead against hers again and their noses touch. She opens her mouth to follow up, but there’s a knock on the open door.

They break apart and turn to the door together. It’s Sam and he’s smirking.

“Still can’t believe this is what y’all have been doing for five years while I was dead,” he says putting air quotes around the word _dead_ and, though it’s a joke, it still stings a little and he notices. “I’m kidding. Obviously, we wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t been putting in the hours.”

“Good save,” Natasha laughs.

“What’s up?” Steve asks, standing and running a hand over his burning face.

“Dinner. You still eat that sort of thing?”

“Yeah, we do.” Natasha stands, too, and hands the cat to Steve. He takes it without thinking and frowns at it in his arms as she strides across the room. She links her arm through Sam’s, and they step out of the room, leaving Steve alone with the fluffy black thing.

“Welcome to the Avengers,” he mutters before following them out of the room.

The living area is full of people and food. The people are dressed in street clothes, not uniforms. Some in sweats, some in jeans. They are tired, but they smile at each other. They talk as they scoop takeout onto paper plates and sit on sofas and on the floor. It’s noisy, but it’s nice. Everyone stops talking when they notice Steve enter the room, but he just nods at them to continue. He sets the cat down and spies Natasha out on the terrace with Same, the lights of New York glittering behind them. Sam sees Steve come outside and he gives Natasha a side-hug before stepping away. He pats Steve on the shoulder as he makes his way back inside. Steve comes up next to her and leans on the railing, their elbows touching. She doesn’t say anything as she links her arm through his and leans against his shoulder.

“2014, huh?”

“Maybe before.” She shrugs, her eyes still trained on the city.

He chuckles and she smiles at the sound as she tries to step closer to him.

“I can’t pinpoint the exact moment, but I do know that it’s true,” Steve’s voice is soft, more cautious than it usually is, especially when it comes to her.

Natasha stands up straight and tilts her head back, trying to see the stars, then she closes her eyes against the night. Her hand grips his arm. He watches her and waits patiently for a response. A tear slips down her cheek and he reaches to brush it away.

“You asked me once if I’ve ever been in love and I told you ‘no’, but that was a lie,” she finally says. He smiles a little and runs the back of his hand over her cheek.

“You’d better be talking about me,” he teases, and she turns to him, laughing.

“Yeah, probably.”

Steve wraps a stray strand of red hair around his finger and gazes down at her. It feels surreal that she’s standing right in front of him, that they’ve shared the same living space for the past few days.

“Sokovia,” he says quietly, and she frowns.

“Sokovia?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. We had a moment.”

“We’ve had a lot of moments, Steve.” She reaches up to brush his hair from his forehead. It’s gotten windy on the balcony and he doesn’t look so put together. She knows he’s vulnerable right now, that the past week or so has been hard on him. But she’s scared. She’s scared of things going back to normal, whatever normal is. Mostly she’s scared that once things settle down he’ll see that he doesn’t love her at all.

“Natasha…” he chides her quietly.

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through this week. If it had been me losing you…I don’t know what I would have done.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“No, Steve. I’m just- I’m just afraid.”

He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her against his, then turns and shields her from the wind.

“What are you afraid of?”

 “That once we take this to the next level, I’ll ruin it.” Natasha figures it’s best to be honest with him. If he’s going to spill his guts, she should too.

Steve just frowns.

“I never thought I deserved it; you know?” She tries to be nonchalant, but her lips quivers and his heart breaks. “I’d done so many terrible things and I was trying to hard to fix them. You made believe in the good. That _I_ could be good.” 

“Nat…”

“I don’t want to be afraid, Steve. I’m going to need a lot of help.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he says with a smile.

She rests her hands on his chest and closes her eyes.

“I love you,” she tells him softly.

He smiles and gently brushes his lips against hers.

“I know.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and shoves herself away, but he catches her around the waist, laughing.

“I never should have introduced you to Star Wars.”

“No, you should’ve,” he touches her cheek. “I love you too, Natasha. Five years ago, or fifty years from now. I hope you’re ready for a lifetime of really bad jokes.”

“I’ve had plenty of practice,” she says before kissing him.


	4. Chapter Four

 “Good morning, Cap. Can you grab me the syrup?”

Steve turns slowly from where he was pouring coffee into a Stark Industries mug. He’s used to different people being in the house because that’s why they bought it: to create a haven for those who need it. He’s a little confused as to why Peter Parker is always at the house, however. And why he’s always eating. His eye twitches a little but he tries to school his expression before he turns around.

“Where did you get waffles from?” He asks sleepily and places the syrup on the counter in front of Peter. Steve can’t help but cringe as he watches the boy pour a quarter of the bottle onto the waffles on his plate then lick his thumb and forefinger.

“Oh, Agent Romanoff- Nat- Natasha made them for me. Look, they’re in the shape of your shield.” He holds up the plate and grins widely.

Steve almost rolls his eyes. He told Sam not to buy that damn waffle maker, but he’s doesn’t sleep much since coming back and

“Don’t you have school?”

“No, _Dad_ , I’m on winter break. Two weeks of freedom, woohoo,” he says as he enthusiastically shakes his fist. “It’s right there on the calendar.” Peter points to the whiteboard that’s stuck on the refrigerator door that holds all the kids’ school schedules as well as a list of chores that someone had recently edited to say Bucky’s name for everything. Steve doesn’t know if it was Natasha or one of the kids. Or Sam, visiting.

Natasha comes back into the kitchen just in time to see the look of panic on Steve’s face at the thought of Peter being at the house for two whole weeks. She’s already dressed in running clothes, having slipped out of bed over an hour before Steve, and she smirks when she hears Peter call him _Dad._

“These waffles are so good,” Peter says through a mouthful and Steve watches Natasha’s smirk grow to a smile.

“Thanks,” she tells him, then steals Steve’s coffee and takes a sip. “Peter’s going upstate to visit Pepper and Morgan for a couple of days. I told May we’d drive him up there later. He’s going shopping with Wanda first.”

She says it all quickly and quietly while Steve pours himself a new cup of coffee and looks relieved. Not that he doesn’t like Peter, because he does. It’s just hard for the two of them to ever find a moment alone with so many people in the house and there’s always something special about their early mornings together.

It’s what they wanted, though, a dream Natasha had following the weeks after the first snap. She wanted to help the helpless. She didn’t want what happened to her to happen to others. So, they put a plan into motion and bought the house. It was a big investment, but Steve’s got a bank account of backpay from the Army for seventy years and they’ve got an investor from Stark Industries: Pepper.

The place is a four-story townhouse in Brooklyn that they remodeled from a two-family home to something that fit their needs. Natasha needed a lot of convincing before they finalized it all. She was hoping for something more like the facility, but Steve finally got her to agree to it and it definitely feels like home. The basement is a gym, the first floor has the kitchen, dining, and living areas, and the rest is bedrooms and bathrooms. Steve’s and Natasha’s room is on the second floor with a separate outside entrance for privacy, but also for safety. No one can leave the house without passing by their bedroom and they are both trained to see and hear everything, so it was the only choice. Plus, it has a sitting area that looks over a garden and its own bathroom.

The position of the room comes in handy when running a house for teens.

A house for teens that Peter Parker definitely _does not_ live in.

“Hey, have you guys seen my scarf? The grey one with the black stripes? Wanda made it for me, and I want to wear it today so she knows I like it.”

“No,” Steve grumbles at the same time that Natasha says, “It’s in your room, Pete.”

Peter salutes them and scuttles up the stairs. Steve glares at her, but Natasha just shrugs innocently.

“What? He’s here all the time. He might as well have a room.”

“I thought this was a team effort.” He sets one hand on his hip and uses the other to gesture between them. “Me and you against the kids?”

“Yeah, but you’re a little biased when it comes to Peter, so I override all of your decisions about him.”

Steve grumbles something again, so she wraps her arms around him and rests her chin on his shoulder. He sighs and touches the back of her head, then kisses her temple. They stay like that for a long moment, breathing each other in, and silently being grateful that the other is alive. It’s something they found themselves doing a lot during the few of weeks after Natasha’s return. They do it less now, but it still means something to them that the other is there.

Especially when it comes to this new mission of protecting the future.

A bump on the stairs causes Steve to pull back. He wrinkles his nose in pretend annoyance, so Natasha kisses his chin.

“Come on, soldier. Help me make waffles.”

Together, they manage to quickly feed the five teenagers they currently have living in the house. Some are orphans, their parents died after the snap, while some are runaways from abusive homes or have traveled cross country and don’t know if their families are still alive. All Natasha and Steve knew was that they wanted a safe place for kids to go. The house is like a rehabilitation center and all the kids have set long term goals. They also work together with the orphanage Pepper and Natasha set up around the corner. The kids they house are only a fraction of what’s in the city, let alone the world, but they are doing their best to help make it better.

Today, the teens are shuffling off to different extra-curricular, volunteer, or study sessions. They may be on winter break, but they still have responsibilities. 

Peter reappears in the kitchen as the front door closes and takes another plate of waffles just was Wanda comes in. She ruffles his hair, kisses Natasha’s cheek, and steals Steve’s second cup of coffee. Bucky quietly slips in, makes himself a cup and hands Steve a fresh one. If Sam was there it would make their little circle complete, but he chose to live at Avengers’ Tower, like Wanda, claiming he needed his _space_.

The others eat, Peter for the second or third time, while Steve and Natasha do the dishes leftover from the kids. Their elbows and hips touch innocently but enough to make Steve wish everyone else would leave already. Then he remembers they’re taking Peter to stay at the Stark home, and he groans a little.

“I think Mom and Dad want to be alone,” Peter says and the rest of them laugh. Steve flicks a handful of tiny bubbles at Peter, but he smiles.

“You’ll all be gone soon,” Natasha teases back.

“I live here.” Bucky smirks.

Steve sighs as he dries his hands, then he bends to lift Liho, Natasha’s black cat who had just slunk into the kitchen, in his arms. He cradles it like a baby and kisses to top of its furry head. Natasha smiles and scratches the thing under its chin. It’s so very domestic of them and the other three can’t help but stare.

“Hey, so you guys ever _really_ gonna have kids? I mean, what you’re doing with this place is great, but you’re still young right? You’re retired. You should really get married and have some super deadly and, like, really good-looking kids.”

“I’m one hundred and five,” Steve deadpans, but Natasha shifts beside him, her hands falling to her sides.

“I’m going for a run,” she whispers and touches his arm gently. He nods and watches her go, the rest of the kitchen falling silent as she does.

“Did I say something wrong? Are you guys not gonna get married? I mean, not everyone gets married these days, I guess. It’s cool. But you can still have kids. You’re not really over a hundred, are you? Aren’t you like forty?”

Steve opens his mouth to speak, whether about his age or Natasha he isn’t sure, but Bucky beats him to it.

“Natasha was trained in a program called The Red Room,” he says quietly. “The K.G.B. took young girls in Russia and trained them to be assassins: Black Widows. Part of their training included a serum, not unlike Steve’s, and…mine. It, um, it basically sterilizes the girls. Natasha can’t have kids. And Steve’s old.”

Steve frowns, but Peter slowly puts down his fork and looks from person to person before abruptly standing up.

“Where’re you going, kid?” Steve asks.

“I gotta go talk to her!”

“Hey, no.” Steve sets the cat down and moves from behind the counter so he can put hand on Peter’s shoulder. “You and Wanda have things to do. Don’t worry about Natasha, okay?”

“But I feel bad,” he says quietly. “I didn’t know! It’s not like they taught me that in Avengers 101! I mean, there wasn’t an Avengers 101, basically I was dead for five years and then I just met you guys and didn’t really know anything about you and-”

Steve puts his other hand on Peter’s shoulder and turns him to him, silently willing him to shut up. “You didn’t know, Peter. It’s okay. Everything will be fine, all right?”

Peter nods and runs a hand through his hair, so Steve drops his hands. Steve exchanges a look with Bucky, who is gathering the rest of the dishes, before heading out the front door after Natasha. As he opens the door, he hears Peter’s voice again.

“Hey, does your arm rust if it gets wet?”

Steve stifles a laugh and closes the door. He doesn’t have to go far, just heads to the garden on the side of the house, fully knowing that Natasha already went for her run today. It’s cold, but she doesn’t have a jacket and is sitting with her arms wrapped around herself tightly.

Natasha rolls her eyes as he jumps the fence instead of opening the gate and strides to the little bench she’s sitting on. He sits next to her and she shifts so he can wrap his arms around her shoulders and pull her closer. She rests her head on his chest and her hand on his thigh, then sighs.

“You know, I’d come to terms with it,” Natasha tells him softly. “Accepted that I didn’t really have a choice.”

“Hm.” He runs his fingers gently through her hair.

“Until you,” she sighs.

“Why is that?” He asks.

“I just…I never wanted to be with someone like I want to be with you. It makes me have all these thoughts I’d never had before.”

Steve sighs and presses a kiss to her hair. “I always wanted those things…and then I didn’t.”

She pulls away to look at him and rests her hand on the back of his neck. Her knees automatically rest against his thigh and he pulls her closer. It’s a move they’ve perfected.

“What do you want, Steve?”

“You,” he says simply.

“What else?” She asks, annoyed.

“Nothing else matters, Tasha. I don’t need children to feel complete. We have… _children_ , so many of them. We have this family and it’s all I could ask for. You are more than enough for me. If it’s just me and you at the end of it all, I’m okay with that.”

“But what if it’s not enough for me?”

Steve looks at his hand on her knee, thinking. He tries to choose his words wisely, but he knows that he’s treading in dangerous waters with her. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about a life with her, because he has. But he also isn’t sure he knows how to have a normal life anymore.

“We’re different Natasha.  With the serum and everything we’ve been through; with what the world is like now… I don’t know what it would be like. I don’t know what kind of father I’d be.”

“You’re scared?”

“A little. Aren’t you?” He laughs, exasperated.

“You make me feel brave. Like I can do anything.”

“What would you want to do?” He asks quietly. “How?”

“I know what it’s like to grow up with no one. There are so many kids like that, Steve.” She looks up at him and he smiles sadly before brushing the stray hair from her face. “I didn’t make the choice to…” Natasha trails off and closes her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. He quickly wipes it away.

“I know,” he tells her softly.

“And then I was what I was, you know? I wasn’t fit to be a mother. It didn’t fit my lifestyle _at all_.”

“And now?”

“Now? I look at you and I see what I can’t give you. It’s always this constant fear I have with you: that you’ll want something that I can’t give,” her voice breaks a little and so does his heart.

“Nat…I don’t- I told you. It’s not the forties anymore, okay? If this is what we get, then I’m okay with it. I love you. It’s all I need.”

“But-” she starts, only he interrupts her.

“We’ve been through so much, you know? It’s a miracle you’re even here with me, but…but if you need more then we’ll find a way.”

“You’d do that? _This?_ ” She says _this_ to mean everything she’s thinking about, even things she can’t voice.

“You didn’t get the choice, Natasha. But my choice is you, always.”

xXx

They don’t talk much about it the rest of the day. The drive with Peter is awkward as he keeps trying to make small talk and apologize for what he said, even though both Natasha and Steve told him it was okay. They know that he loved and looked up to Tony. They know that he doesn’t know much about them and that he’s trying to be part of the little group they have. Now that Tony’s gone, he doesn’t really have any other hero-like person to talk to and they get it. You need your own people and Peter hasn’t found that yet.

Steve is incredibly thankful to see Pepper and Morgan waiting on the front porch when they finally get to their house. Morgan practically launches herself at Peter while Steve and Natasha greet Pepper with hugs and Christmas gifts. It’s quiet and awkward at first, but Peter and Morgan help to diffuse the tension with their energy and lightness. They want to talk about Tony and it’s hard, but the adults make it happen.

Later, Morgan drags Peter and Steve outside and Natasha can hear Steve’s laugh as she watches Morgan shove a large metal disc in his hands.

“An old prototype,” Pepper tells Natasha as they sit on the front porch and watch. Steve’s shield was destroyed by Thanos, left in pieces scattered along the old facility. Before he returned to Wakanda, T’Challa offered to have Shuri create a new one of vibranium, but Steve declined, ready to embrace his retirement.

Peter and Steve follow Morgan to a hill behind the house and Natasha laughs as she finally understands what the little girl wants. Steve sets the shield down and then sets Morgan into it, making sure she’s holding tightly onto the straps, the he pushes her off the slant and grins as she flies down the hill. He runs after her and catches the shield just before she topples out at the bottom. They’re both laughing as he lifts Morgan and the shield into his arms and runs back up the hill. Pepper and Natasha watch and laugh as the three of them take turns sliding down in the shield.

After a moment, Pepper turns to Natasha, who can’t help but stare at Steve as he interacts with the kids. Despite the fact that Peter is a teenager who has been through some very adult things, Steve is still gentle with him… even though he gets annoyed with the boy a lot. She can tell he cares about him, though, in the little things he does. Like always setting an extra plate for dinner or picking up certain snacks at the grocery store because he knows Peter likes them.

“What’s on your mind?” Pepper asks.

“Hm? Oh. It’s nothing.” Natasha shakes her head and sips her hot cocoa and keeps her eyes trained on the hill. She wants to talk, but she doesn’t want Pepper to have to discuss things she’s not ready for yet.

“It’s okay, you know. I can talk about…other things.”

Natasha meets her eyes and smiles sadly. She should have known that Pepper would be stronger than she thought. After all, you don’t marry Iron Man if you can’t handle what comes with it.  

“It’s just this,” she says and holds out her hand, meaning the life that she and Tony had built. “All that you have.”

Pepper is quiet for a moment, trying to choose the right words. “It’s something you want?”

“Maybe?” Natasha shrugs. “He’s not so sure, though.” She nods to Steve who is now carrying both Peter and Morgan on the shield over his head and grinning like a damn idiot. Peter is holding Morgan tightly pretending to be scared, but the little girl is clearly living her best life.

“Before Tony _left_ , I guess. When he was stuck in space…I was the one who wasn’t sure. We were engaged, but he kept talking about kids and it was just _not_ in the front of my mind. Especially with that you guys do.”

“And now…”

“Now I get to tell my daughter, my friends get to tell her, what a hero her dad was. It’s not ideal, but Tony never would have been able to stop living this life. He tried.”

Natasha looks down at her mug and takes a deep breath.

“So, are you saying we, I, shouldn’t try?”

“No. I’m saying it’s worth it, no matter what,” she stops, thinking. “Can you…what are your options?”

Natasha is grateful for someone who knows enough about her that she doesn’t have to explain anything. It gets tiring explaining something that wasn’t your choice to begin with.

“There are still so many children who need homes,” Natasha replies quietly.

Pepper reaches over and takes Natasha’s hand, squeezing it gently.

“Yes,” Pepper sighs. “There are.”

xXx

Christmas Day arrives with bright, white snow blanketing the garden, windowsills, and sidewalk in front of the house. There’s breakfast and gifts, and then everyone, including Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Peter, and May, head to the orphanage to help and spend the morning.

It’s a good reminder of what they still have and that there is always some good left in the world. Steve does a lot of standing by and watching with a sad smile on his face. Natasha notices, she always notices, but she just lets him brood. She’s found that it’s best to let him come to her rather than to try and pry things out of him.

“I think he would have liked all this,” he says once they’ve served lunch and have settled into one of the common areas, alone. “Tony, I mean.”

Natasha reaches for his hand and she gives him an affectionate squeeze. “Yeah. He would have liked to have seen his money put to good use,” she laughs a little and Steve smiles.

A few of the kids run into the room, giggling and throwing imaginary webs at each other, with Peter following close behind. He trips intentionally and they swarm him with their dirty little hands and sticky faces. They can hear him laughing from under the pile of kids and they glance at each other before unanimously deciding against helping him. Instead, they leave the room and walk the halls hand in hand.

There are separate wings of the building for different things: kitchen, playroom, classrooms, bedrooms. There’s also a small set of rooms for the infants and toddlers that are taken in. It’s not really a coincidence that’s where they end up. They watch for a few minutes and Natasha feels Steve’s fingers tighten around hers. His expression is unreadable, though. It’s impossible to know what he’s thinking.

Eventually someone finds them, and they are whisked off to other activities without much more time alone. It’s not until much later, back at home, that they finally have a chance to curl up on the couch in front of the fire together.

They can hear the kids in the activity room, playing a board game loudly. Bucky’s the loudest, though, as he tries to keep order and accuse Sam of cheating at the same time.

“Sam does cheat,” Natasha mutters and Steve laughs, causing her to shake from her spot leaning against his chest.

“So does Bucky.”

She closes her eyes and reaches back to where she knows she can reach to gently touch his cheek and then let her hand run along his jaw and into the hair at the back of his neck. He kisses her wrist as she does it.

“I’ve been thinking…” he says softly. She sighs and sits up to face him, shrugging to adjust the hoodie she’s wearing, one she just gifted him that morning. “Did you buy that for yourself?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ve been thinking about, you know, us.”

“Uh huh.” Natasha bats her eyelashes playfully and he raises an eyebrow at her.

“I’m serious.”

“Me too.”

“I want to do this right, okay?” He sighs, sounding annoyed.

“I mean it, Steve. Me too.”

“If we’re going to do this _thing_ that we’ve talked about, then I want to do it right,” Steve explains again in his best Captain America voice.

“Very honorable of you, Cap,” she teases with a smile.

He runs a hand over his face and then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little velvet bag. Natasha doesn’t smile and, for once, she doesn’t have anything clever to say.

“I’d like to say that this was my mother’s and all that, but I grew up during the Great Depression and we didn’t have a lot then, you know, I died in the forties or whatever,” he tells her as he dumps the contents of the bag into his palm.

“Steve…”

“Actually, this was mine.” He holds out an elegant silver ring with a solitary diamond in the middle. It shines in the light from the fire and the Christmas tree. “Well, I bought the diamond and had Shuri melt down part of my shield to make the ring. I think she did a good job.” 

“Yep,” she replies, feeling breathless.

“I had her make me one, too,” he says as he stares at the ring, then he shifts his gaze to hers. “You know, in case you said ‘yes’.”

“There’s a question?”

“We’re not ever going to be conventional, Natasha. It’s not going to be easy and it will _definitely_ not be perfect, but I want to do this with you. All of it. Forever. So…”

She lets him take her hand and slip the ring on and then he waits. Natasha holds her hand up and smiles, then she takes his face in her hands and kisses him. He laughs at the force of it but slips his arms around her and pulls her as close as he can.

“Hey- whoa!” Peter’s voice causes them to break apart. They both look over to him and he’s standing in the doorway shielding his eyes. “Sorry about that. Did not know that’s what I was walking into and- wait. Is that a diamond?” He takes a step closer to where they are still tangled up on the couch.

Natasha rests her forehead on Steve’s shoulder and laughs.

“Did you two just get engaged? This is so great! I’ve been waiting for this for like six months! Ah, man. I gotta call Pepper and tell her. We had a bet going on. Carry on!”

He scampers out of the room and Steve rests his hand on the back of Natasha’s head while she laughs. She pulls back a moment later with tears in her eyes and a wide grin on her face.

“Technically you didn’t say ‘yes’ yet, so the kid is spreading lies right now,” Steve says with a smirk.

She laughs and threads her fingers through his hair before pressing her forehead to his.  

“Hm. I better say ‘yes’ then. Can’t have anyone thinking Spider-Man is less than honest, can we?”

“I really don’t care if that’s your reasoning as long as you say it,” he laughs and tightens his arms around her.

“Oh, okay,” she says softly, then, “yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this, I was pretty dead set on it not becoming a "two kids and a minivan" kind of thing. I don't know what happened. I don't know if that's the direction I'm going. I just know that I'm kind of loving these two and I'm hoping that you're enjoying this also. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for taking this little adventure with me! It's been so much fun to write these two. Stay tuned for the series because I'm sure there will be some more shenanigans from the whole crew. XOXO

“Hey, do you guys have pet names for each other?” Peter asks the group as they are assembling around a picnic table for a late spring barbecue. No one knows if the question is just for the couple: Steve and Natasha, or everyone. So, they all answer for what they call Steve.  

“Rogers.”

“Stevie.”

“Sir.”

“Captain Tight Pants.”

Everyone turns to look at Sam, who just shrugs and nods to where Steve is standing at the grill and stacking burgers on a plate. Steve looks down at his jeans innocently.

“Natasha buys my pants,” he explains with a shrug.

“Yes, I do. Only the best for America’s Ass.”

Steve sighs as he sits down. “Did Scott tell everyone about that?”

“Yeah, he put it in his monthly newsletter,” Bucky tells them, and they all turn to him with wide eyes full of questions. “You guys don’t get the emails?”

“You get emails?” Peter asks incredulously. “Was that like, a new thing for you? How did you learn how to use the internet?”

Bucky flexes the fingers of his metal arm and stares at Peter, who just picks up a potato chip and pops it into his mouth, crunching loudly. Steve snorts, whether it’s at his best friend trying to be menacing or Peter being Peter, no one call tell. Eventually Bucky drops the murder-stare, smirking, and everyone makes their plates. They pass around dishes and make small talk while they eat, none of them voicing that it’s almost been a year since _everything_.

“But _do_ you have pet names for each other?”  Wanda leans her chin on her fist and gazes at Natasha with a teasing smile.

“Romanoff,” Steve says and takes a sip of the beer in front of him.

“Rogers.” Natasha shrugs, repeating her answer.

“Boring,” Peter pretends to yawn.

“Does your girlfriend have a pet name for you?” Steve raises and eyebrow and Peter blushes.

“No, she just calls me _stupid_ a lot.”

Natasha laughs and leans into Steve’s side as he smiles sympathetically. “Yeah, me too, kid.”

“What about when you get married? Are you going to change your name? What will you call each other then?” Peter

“Natasha’s not changing her name,” Steve scoffs and she looks up at him with narrowed eyes.

“Why not?” She counters.

“Oh…do you want to?”  He asks softly.

“Nah,” she says, but she’s smiling her little secretive smile. He just shakes his head and tucks her hair behind her ear, his eyes flicking from her lips and back to her gaze.

“Y’all know we’re sitting right here, right?” Sam says in a not so teasing way.

They move away from each other, both grinning sheepishly and try to return to normal conversation. Sam and Wanda fill them in on everything happening at Avengers’ Tower, Peter tells them about school, while Bucky shares the latest antics about the teens in the home who are currently on a camping trip with a couple of counselors for spring break.

“Hey, you guys want to…” Steve starts, but trails off and takes Natasha’s hand under the table. He looks at her and she smiles conspiratorially. “You want to go somewhere this weekend?”

“Where to?”

“Missouri,” Natasha answers.

xXx

They take a Quinjet in the morning, each of them packed for a couple of days with some specifics that Steve and Natasha told them to bring. Peter brings MJ and she spends most of the flight staring daggers at Steve after he gets the jet into the air. It’s weird to the others to see him walking about the jet in jeans and a t-shirt, but he hasn’t put his uniform on in months. This is the normal now.

“Peter, why does your girlfriend hate me?” Steve finally asks while Wanda is keeping MJ occupied.

“Oh, she had to watch too many of your detention videos. Sorry,” he says with a shrug.

Steve sighs and puts a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “No, son. _I’m_ sorry.”

He walks away, trying not to laugh as he joins Natasha in the cargo area. She smiles at him, then looks around the plane and holds out her hand. He takes it and kisses her palm.

“Do you think they know what we’re doing?” She asks and he shakes his head before wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He pulls her to his side and presses his lips to her hair.

“No, they just think we’re going to see Barton,” he answers as he surveys the group.

“Should we tell them?”

“We’ll be there soon. You can tell them then.” He starts to walk away, but she catches his arm.

“You want _me_ to tell them?”

“You’ve never had any trouble telling people like it is, why is this different?” Steve gives her a half smile and she glares at him as he walks away, checking in on the others before making his way back to the pilot seat. “You should definitely tell Sam, though!” He calls over his shoulder.

“Tell Sam what?” He asks with narrowed eyes. Natasha casts one more glare at Steve before beckoning Sam over to give him a heads up on their plan. She feels a little guilty as she does it, given that he’s going to be a big part of what they want to accomplish while at the Barton family farm.

Clint and his family meet them in the big empty field, and everyone is surprised to see Pepper and Morgan there, too. The others exchange glances as Natasha and Steve walk past them and off the plane first.

“I’ve got a weird feeling about all of this,” Peter says as they all follow.

“Is it your Peter tingle?” MJ smirks and he rolls his eyes.

“Hey!” Clint covers Nate’s ears. “There are kids here!”

Peter turns bright red and glares at MJ, who just continues to smile innocently at him.

“That’s not- it doesn’t mean that, I mean…ah, dangit.” He hangs his head in defeat and the others try not to laugh.

“Get used to it, kid,” Sam says as he slips by, but not unkindly. He was the new guy once, too, and the teasing is just part of the ritual.

“Suit up, Rogers,” Natasha calls from where she is crossing the field, Laura’s arm wrapped around her waist. “Gather the troops and all that. See you in an hour!” She motions for Wanda, Pepper, and Morgan to follow them into the house. Wanda grabs MJ, steering her away from the guys and leaving the rest of them just outside the jet.

“You sure you want to do this?” Clint asks Steve as he gathers his bag and they head for the house.

He claps Clint on the shoulder and nods. “Best day of my life, right?”

Clint grins. “Good answer.”

Clint leads them to the opposite side of the house, to keep the genders separated. It feels old-fashioned to Steve and he can’t help but smile as everyone gathers into the dusty barn.

“Okay, so Natasha said to suit up, but I’m really confused about what kind of mission this is. I mean, I brought MJ because I thought we were, like, just taking a trip. What kind of suit do I need to put on?”

“Did you pack your Spidey suit?” Sam raises an eyebrow. Peter’s face turns an even deeper shade of red.

“I mean, yeah. Always.”

“Do you have a collared shirt?” Steve asks him and Peter nods. “That’ll work.”

Steve nods to Clint and the two leave the others. Sam’s been informed of his task and by the way he keeps shooting him glances, Steve can tell he’s nervous. They walk until they reach the shade of a tall oak tree, and Steve assumes this is the spot he’ll be standing at later.

“So, you’ve adopted a teenager?” Clint smirks as they survey the land around them, then he starts to unpack some supplies from a bin at the base of the tree. Steve groans a little.

“I shouldn’t complain. He’s a great kid. He’s just…a lot sometimes.”

“Like Stark?”

Steve looks down at his dusty shoes, then to Clint with a sad smile. “Yes. Exactly.”

“He’s been working with the team some,” Steve continues. “Wanda and Sam, anyway. It’s going…well, it’s going.”

“We’ve all been there.” Clint shrugs.

“So, this is the spot?” Steve changes the subject and Clint nods.

“This is it,” he says and looks at his watch. “Give me half an hour? Just have the guys ready.”

“Not a problem.”

They part ways and Steve heads back to where he left the others. Peter is in boxers and a button down, standing in front of the window to one must be of the boys’ rooms. He’s taking pictures of the cows in the distance while Sam and Bucky watch and shake their heads. Steve can’t help but laugh as he steps between them.

“Kid’s an idiot,” Bucky mutters, but he’s smiling. “I like him.”

“This place is great! I grew up in the city. I’ve never seen _this_. Is that a real cow?!”

The others just shake their heads and laugh quietly.  

“Well,” Steve says after a moment, “we thought it would be a good place for a wedding.”

Bucky and Peter turn to him with wide, questioning eyes.

“You’ll be my best man?” Steve asks and holds out his hand to Bucky.

Bucky takes it, but pulls him into a tight hug, clapping him hard on the back with his real hand. It hurts just as much as a metal hand would have, however.

“I’d be honored.”

“Great. Your first job is to make sure the kid puts pants on.”

They smile at each other, then laugh loudly at the absurdity of it all. Peter grumbles from the other side of the room and grabs for his khakis, while Sam sits on the edge of the bed and stares at his hands.

“You gonna be all right, Sam?” Steve asks with a smile as he ties his black tie.

“Oh, sure. Nothing like having an hour warning to be asked to put on a wedding. That’s fine. No big deal.”

“We trust you.” He shrugs into his jacket and looks at everyone, then claps his hands. “Let’s go.”

Steve leads them all to where he and Clint were earlier. Someone has placed flowers around the tree and strung up lights in the low hanging branches. There aren’t any chairs, but they aren’t planning on a long ceremony or a big crowd. It’s just the people they care about the most and that’s all they need. Steve stands with Bucky and Sam on either side of him. Natasha asked Sam to perform the ceremony and, while they both knew he would be nervous, they also knew there was no one else they’d rather have.

“Hey, kid. Hold these.” Steve quickly flips a little box at Peter, and he grabs it with extreme precision, then opens it with wide eyes.

“Sir? You want…me? To hold these?” He asks eyeing the rings nestled in the box.

“I trust you.” Steve shrugs. “Don’t miss your cue, okay?”

A few moments later, the front door of the house opens, and the rest of the party makes their way to them. They join Peter, making a half circle around Steve and leaving an aisle for Natasha and Clint to walk through.

Steve’s breath catches when he sees her in the sleeveless gold dress. It’s simple and fitted, flaring a bit at the bottom and brushing the ground as she walks. He can feel his eyes prick with tears and he tries to blink them away. They’ve barely even started; he doesn’t want to start crying _now_. Bucky puts a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he takes a deep breath as Clint places Natasha’s hand in his. It feels so archaic and _normal_ , but as Clint takes the spot beside Natasha it also feels so right.

“Friends, apparently we were gathered here for a wedding,” Sam starts, and everyone laughs quietly. “I found out about an hour ago, so if I mess up you can blame the bride and groom for not telling me in advance.”

Sam smiles at them both, drops his head for a moment and then takes a deep breath before beginning again.

“You two are some of the strongest people I know. Most of us wouldn’t even be standing here if it weren’t for the two of you. I know that it hasn’t been easy, but I’m glad you found each other despite it all,” he says and he’s as serious as anyone has ever seen him. “Now, I’m assuming you have some things to say to each other?”

Steve nods and takes Natasha’s other hand. He stares at them for a moment before meeting her eyes and just one side of his lip quirks up.

“You once said to me _it’s gonna be fun_ right before I helped you catapult into a cluster of flying aliens. I feel like that sums up everything we’ve been through in the past ten years. It hasn’t been fun. It’s actually been kind of terrible once you really think about it.”

“Just one thing after another,” she mutters, her lips tight like she’s trying not to laugh.

“Flying cities, aliens, the government…it’s been the opposite of fun, Natasha.”

“I liked you better with a beard,” she tells him.

Sam clears his throat. “Do y’all even want to do this?”

“I mean, I still don’t know what happened in Budapest.”

That time Clint coughs loudly behind Natasha and she levels him with a glare before turning back to Steve. He takes her hands again and he smiles softly.

“It doesn’t matter, though. None of it does. Because we’ve been together.”

Natasha smiles. “Being together makes it a little less awful.”

“I love you,” he says as he takes a step forward.

“Ditto.” She shrugs with a little grin.

Sam puts his hands on both of their shoulders, stopping them from moving closer.

“Hold up! Let the preacher man do his job before you jump to the end, okay?”

 They both take an embarrassed step back and let Sam finish the ceremony. Peter doesn’t miss his cue and hands over the rings when Sam asks for them. Steve’s hands tremble a little as he places the band on Natasha’s hand and after she does the same, she grips his fingers tightly.

“So, uh, by the power that you two gave me, and I’m guessing you have a marriage license somewhere…it’s really an honor to pronounce you husband and wife.”

Natasha grins and throws her arms around Steve’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss. He dips her back and they come up laughing, both feeling happier than either can remember ever being. Then they are being hugged, given handshakes, and pats on the back. He finds her hand in the crowd of their family and sees her wipe a tear from her cheek as she embraces Pepper and he knows that it’s _this_ that he’s been searching for his whole life.

The move the party to the Barton house, the front porch set up much like the tree had been with flowers, lights, some tables, and even a makeshift dance floor. Peter plugs his phone into a speaker and plays music while the other kids dance. It’s so weird to see them all together, but also so wonderful.

Clint opens a bottle of champagne and passes around glasses. Peter manages to snag one, but Bucky deftly removes it from his hand and passes him a soda instead. They are just about to toast when there’s a commotion on the lawn and a jet lands not too far away from where they had landed earlier.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Natasha glances at Steve and he shakes his head. Rhodey and Bruce couldn’t make it with such short notice, and they hadn’t told anyone else.

Two people make their way to the house and Steve laughs when he finally sees who it is.

“I guess my invitation got lost in the mail?” Nick Fury asks as he holds up a large takeout bag. Maria Hill stands next to him holding another. “We brought shawarma. It felt right.”

So, they eat, and they dance, and they even cry a little. MJ dances with all the kids while Peter watches from the side, completely smitten. Wanda and Bucky ballroom dance around the yard while the rest of them exchange stories and pour drinks.

Natasha’s spinning with Nate when Steve catches her around the waist and pulls her against him. He brushes her sweaty hair from her face and then kisses her long enough for the kids to giggle behind them. She tucks her head under his chin and sighs.

“You sure you want some of those?”

Natasha laughs and tightens her arms around him. It’s still a big thing for them to decide, but each day they move closer to the choice to be a forever home for a child who might need it.

“Yeah,” she says as she tips her head up to meet his gaze and his smile makes her stomach flutter. “It’s gonna be fun.”


End file.
